A long engagement WOW or WOE?

I'm engaged to the love of my life... that's a big WOW.. so here's the story from then to now..I got engaged on July 4th 2015 (yes, America won its freedom on July 4th and I lost my mine... in a great way ofcourse!) Soon after, my wedding was set for July 2016. 

In our culture the time between the engagement and the wedding is generally short. When I say short it can be as short as one month. To top that, in our culture the bride and groom don't even set a wedding date, the families do that along with the priest and our horoscopes. So you really don't have control over when you might get married, the little bit control you have is picking a season like winter or spring (when most weddings in India happen).

This courtship between the engagement and the wedding is actually spent in planning the wedding rather than spending time with your fiancé. So how did July 2016 become possible against such odds? Let's just say I had to be very persuasive with the right amount of emotional drama and tantrums because I wanted enough time to plan a 'perfect wedding.'

If you've done the math by now I got an entire year to plan. No one in my family has had the luxury of time (the most they've had between wearing a ring and tying the knot was seven months), so obviously everyone was way too relaxed. But I immediately started looking up various wedding blogs and magazines to prep myself for what was to come. A few months went by and it was October till we started discussions about a location, for our destination wedding. And yet my family was relaxed with their 'we've had numerous weddings in the family it's easy, everything will get done' attitude.

The next few months were very one of the toughest times of our lives. Tragedy struck and within a span of 32 days we lost four close family members. Planning a wedding or even the thought of marriage wasn't on my mind anymore.

I considered postponing the wedding, but I learnt that it's bad luck you do that. Why? Well in our culture you invite the gods to the wedding to bless the couple. Faith, destiny and the notion of 'what has to happen will happen' are principles that are ingrained in my upbringing. 

With this we moved forward without changing the date and found our selves in mid march trying to resume 'normal life' with no venue in hand. Nine months had passed, four couples I know off got engaged and married after my engagement, including a close friend and a family relative. And as you can see, we were at ground zero. 

We finally buckled up and accomplished 50 per cent of the planning in the past. It's still a long way to go though...

Coming down to it, am I happy with my year of planning? Yes, I will not deny that. I was there for my family in the same house during difficult times. We didn't get into serious planing mode until three - four months before the wedding. But I did enjoy and I am still enjoying the 'bride - to - be' stage. Having a year has given me time to grow my hair, get in a shape and do a lot things I wanted to before settling down.

So here is your first lesson of wedding planning.

- If you want a year or more to plan your wedding, be prepared, a lot can happen in between,
I'm not saying it will, but 12 months is a long time. Even fashion and trends change in this time. A shorter engagement could be filled with equally unexpected situations, but at-least you get into it right away without wasting time.

My advice - no matter how much time you have to plan your wedding, be efficient with your time, or the stress will creep up sooner than you think! Big thing or small, somethings can be done early on, so why wait? People will tell you there is time, but time flies. And most importantly enjoy yourself. You will turn into 'Bride-zilla' and trust me it's okay, because bride-zillas get a lot of work done, just don't hurt the people around you in the process.

xOxO

Komal

P. S. I've unleashed my bride-zilla self a million times by now. My family and my fiancé have been at the receiving end of it, and haven't said a word to me. But I've always made it it's point to apologise if I was to harsh. And that's the strength of a true relationship.

P. P. S As soon as I finished writing this, my dad got a call about the engagement of another family relative. Surprise surprises, they might be getting married a week before me.

Comments

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